Monthly Archives: September 2006

WORK WORK WORK

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Greetings Everyone,

Thousand and one apologies on not updating my blog if there is even anyone waiting for any blog posts from me. I have been tied down with work. I can’t believe that I just said that. This is strongly because I have made a promise to myself that I will never get bogged down by work not by not doing them but by managing them well.

Lately, the amount of things to be done have sky rocketed high! Yup, you heard me right. The amount of work that has somehow fall on my lap has increase highly. However, I believe I will get everything cleared up by next week and things will be brighter again.

I’ve got to get back to work and promise to use the Advance Editing tool of WordPress to share my experience on what I have done on those blank post days.

Please be patient and everything will be up in due time.

Benny Ong XXX

P/S: Do watch out for my e-book coming out shortly.

ORDER IN THE COURT!

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Finally something worth sharing from my inbox. Read it and have a laugh or two.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in
his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one..
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh….
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse.
WITNESS:  No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing
law.

Amazing Powerpoint Tips

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I am currently attending a course called Dynamic Presentation Skills and learned a cool trick today regarding functions in Microsoft Powerpoint. Yup, all you slaves of Microsoft pay close attention and I will guarantee you that your presentation will never be the same again.

First and foremost is turning the slides into a completely blank black or white screen without turning your machine off. This is necessary for various reasons such as you want the audience to pay attention on the presenter instead of the slides or to pause for some other activities. It can be done by a single click of the “B� key for a black screen or “W� for white while your presentation is running in full screen. Simply click any key to bring your presentation back to life.

The other cool trick is to hide your cursor or mouse pointer. Just click on “A� or “=� to hide it and to bring it back. You can also turn it into a pen where you can scribble on your presentation slides and then erase it. This trick will be good for speakers to emphasize on a point or highlight something important. Just click on the CTRL key and P at the same time to get the pen. Click on your mouse and drag to start drawing and scribble on your slides. Click E to erase what you have added on screen or just proceed to the next slide. Please note that no change will be done to your existing slides. Key in CTRL + A to bring back the mouse cursor.

You may also schedule your slides to run on a preset time. This will require more reading and configuration on your part for it. There are simple keys available for you to rehearse your presentation.

For other cool tricks for Microsoft Powerpoint, click F1 and a small window will pop up above your presentation indicating the keys and functions available.

Please do share your tips on other cool tricks in other common applications.

Here is to a better and cooler presentation for everyone!

Benny Ong

Creating Separate Headers and Footer in Words

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There might come a time in your life when you are creating a word document that requires you to have separate headers for different chapters or categories.

It took me the weekend to understand the help file built in on Microsoft Words to do it but finally I did it. That is persistence for you.

Well, first and foremost, you will need to break your pages into categories. This is done by inserting breaks. To do so, click on Insert on your header menu and select Break. A window will pop up and click on Next Page under Section Break Types. You have now successfully created a break between the two pages or sections. You may repeat this process for all your categories and chapters if needed.

Now, click on View and then Header and Footer. Start inserting text into them and you will notice that all pages are still showing the same headers and footers. No worries, this is because they are set as default to be the same as the previous. Simple click a button on the screen to unlink the headers and footers from each breaks.

That’s it! You have successfully created different headers and footers for your pages.

Until next time, take care.

Benny Ong

Do Not Talk To My Parrot

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This one really got me laughing in the morning at work and is worth sharing.

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.”

“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he had ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled,

“Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

See, men just don’t listen !

Free E-Cover Maker

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You would not believe where I am right now, I am in Lim Kok Wing Cyberjaya Campus library writing this post.


Lim Kok Wing

 

Yup, it has come to a time that I am so desperate to get a decent internet connection that I won’t mind travelling that far. If you think that I have enrolled for a Design course here, you are wrong. Story on how I ended up here then? Well, just face it that I am here on a Saturday afternoon.

By the way, yesterday, I uploaded an e-cover maker script over the internet that you can freely use to create the covers for your e-products. This is a good tool for all those budding e-marketers that are working on their first product and do not have much time or money to spare on coming up with the images.

On the sidelines, I will be working on my first major e-product soon that hopefully will be successful. On how much I will profit for it, it is not a major concern of mine yet.

There is all for today and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Benny Ong XXX

Negotiation Skills

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Here I am, in the office all alone on the Friday after Merdeka (A public holiday). The row that I am seated in is usually noisy with our presence, the trainees. However, more than half of the staff have applied for leave to enjoy an extended weekend off. I would have happily applied for it and drove back to Penang but was turn off by the massive traffic jam that will usually occur from such events.

It has been ages since I have spoken to my coach about what I wanted to achieve career wise. One of the major things that I wanted to improve was my Negotiation skills. The company training on Negotiation is over and the next one available will be in 2007. So, he suggested that I look up the internet for one and I stumbled upon this amazing site called Winxwin.com. They offer a free e-training on Negotiation which I am currently following.

Hopefully, after months to come, I will be able to improve my Negotiation Skills. Good luck to everyone else who have the same goals as me! Please do share with me other good sites that you have across.

Have A Nice Weekend!

Benny Ong